X-Box Reveals New System: THE X-BOX ONE X

June 12, 2017

  •  If you’re an introvert of a certain variety, with just enough spending money and love of polygons growing smoother and smoother as time goes on, then this is a magical time for you— for all of you! Because this is E3— essentially video games’ comic-con — where you will see the newest games to come out, the latest ideas to delight, and this E3 is still rolling out. There’s been a new Kingdom Hearts III trailer, a new Wolfenstein, but most exciting of all for people is a new model of the X-Box One called— CALLED — The X Box One X!  Wait, the X Box One X?! That’s a terrible name! Anywho — the X-Box One X is being billed as the most powerful console ever made which is like — that’s fine. The Game Boy did have Poke’mon: Yellow, which I think advocated a PRETTY powerful message of friendship (seven teraflops of friendship!), but hey this ain’t my marketing push.  Anywho, the X-Box One X is coming out on November 7th for $499 dollars (save that dollar for rent, folks!) — but what makes it so powerful, anyway? Well — according to this research — [ahem] — “six teraflops of graphic power”. What’s a teraflop? Oh, it’s a “million million” or “ten to the 12th power”. I’m not sure what that means. Let’s see what else? “A liquid cool vapor chamber”. Huh? Wait wait — it can play old original X Box games!? Like the ones too awful to import to the X Box 360 or X Box One!? Hot dang! I can finally replay the Citizen Kane of video games — Simpsons: Hit and Run — the best Grand Theft Auto style game where Krusty fights Mr. Burns.

  •  As for the title — X Box One X… it’s so bad… wait… X…B…O….X… it spells XBOX you guys! X-Box One X spells X-Box! Oh whatever, I’m switching to books now.

  •  Hey guys, here’s Electabuzz!

  • Source: vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net / Via: pokemon.wikia.com

  •  What do you think of the X-Box One X? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.