13 Observations About Fergie’s ‘M.I.L.F. $’ Music Video

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• It’s been ages since Fergie has released music. Well, there was that one song in 2014, but it was merely a blip amidst a sea of emptiness for Fergie fans. But now, finally, there is a new song.  Now, there is “M.I.L.F. $.” The video for “M.I.L.F. $” is, quite simply, ridiculous. But in the exact way you want your music videos to be ridiculous. The cameos from Fergie’s mom friends are out of control, and also fantastic. But all in all, there’s too much going on to actually say coherent paragraphs about it, so here are all the stray observations for you to read as you watch along: 1. The “milfman” drives a truck featuring the phrase “Moms I’d Like to Follow.” Yup, that’s definitely what that stands for. 2. That’s some fancy shark topiary going on there. 3. Chrissy Teigen. Yes. Petition for Chrissy Teigen to be in literally everything. Preferably just as a random hype girl. For everything. I don’t care if it makes sense narratively. You show up in the background of Game of Thrones getting Daenerys Targaryen’s army hyped up, girl. 4. I bet nobody in Milf View Park gives Chrissy Teigen sh*t for breastfeeding outside. 5. Oh man, remember Devon Aoki? Remember when she was in stuff? That was great. Be in more stuff, Devon Aoki. Make a D.E.B.S. sequel. 6. Daaaang, Fergie. How old are you again? (That’s invasive, you don’t have to answer that. I won’t google it.) 7. Everyone looks so bored and it’s everything. Like, yeah, you casually shake those hips while giving the camera dead eyes, Chrissy and Kim. Y’all are gonna go murder someone after this, aren’t you? I’m sure they deserve it. 8. Is this a soda shop or a strip club? Do combination soda club/strip clubs exist? I’d go to that. Get your shake on. 9. There it is! There’s the spelling! She’s I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, not B-R-O-K-E, and definitely P-A-I-D. You go, Fergs. 10. Only jock boys go to whatever school Fergie teaches at. I guess the girls don’t need to learn whatever it is she’s got to teach. They probably know everything already in this town though, so they’re just spending all their time being Girl Scouts. 11. I have never seen a Got Milk ad like these, but maybe I’d actually drink milk if I did. 12. Oh, don’t shower in milk, Kim K. You’re just going to have to shower in water again to rinse it out. Think of all you could do with your life in the time it takes you to shower twice. Probably release like three more iPhone apps, honestly. 13. The milfman passed out. Was this all in his dream? Dream more, you mothaf*ka. Well, Fergie. You’re definitely back. What was your favorite part of the video? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter @WhatsTrending.

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